Week 41

Qin Ai de Jia Ting!

This week has been spectacular! I absolutely LOVE my companion and I am so grateful to be serving with her.
 
I feel like lately I have been putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself. Let me tell you why... I think the hardest thing about missionary work is me. Yeah there are hard things that are expected like riding the bike in the heat, or up the mountains, getting rejected over and over again, and all that... But lately I feel that the hardest part of missionary work is me. My weaknesses. Sometimes I just get so annoyed with myself.... I want and desire so bad to be better. To be more like Christ. I know that through Him I can change. Everything is in my favor to change and become more like Him. But it doesn't happen at once. It is a life time process and I am so grateful that the Lord calls imperfect people to do His work.

Yesterday I had a little breakdown... I was sitting in sacrament and I was just hit with missing mom. I don't know why or what triggered it but I just needed to cry. I tried to hold it somewhat together until after sacrament. Then I made it to the bathroom and just cried... then sweet, sweet Sister Lin, our Relief Society President, walked in and asked how I was doing... I cried again. I told her about mom's passing and how I miss her so much... She just hugged me and let me cry and she said the same thing President Bishop said... Sometimes I just need to cry and let it out... It was truly such a tender mercy to have Sister Lin there especially because we have truly strengthen our relationship with her in the past few weeks and I love her so much and there is just a feeling of family. Truly a tender mercy.

I think sometimes I feel bad or guilty to breakdown or to think too much about my mom or home because it takes me away from the work... But, you know what, sometimes I need to cry. I think this goes back to the weaknesses... I want so bad to give everything to the Lord and His work. I want to serve with all my might, MIND, HEART, and strength... I realised I am doing my best and that is what the Lord asks of me. He knows my situation. He knows my strengths and my weaknesses. He knows me. I am so very grateful for my Savior. I am so very grateful to be doing His work.

I love you all so so so so so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Until next week!